Emotional Intelligence

Why I Became A Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach in 2013

Strengths Coach, Emotional Intelligence Coach

For the entire year of 2012, I mentored under someone I consider to be an expert in CliftonStrengths™ Coaching. The year I invested under my mentor working with technology-gifted coaching clients was priceless to my development as a Career Coach who leverages the CliftonStrengths assessment in his coaching practice.

I’ve been privileged to work with some of the smartest people on the planet as my coaching clients. Strengths Coaching provides a rock-solid foundation for building authentic, Self-Awareness.

One of my entrepreneur real estate investor clients shared her thoughts after we completed her Strengths Development Coaching.

Without having you by my side, I wouldn’t have left my comfort zone or confronted my fears. Thank you for helping me to develop authentic self-confidence.
— Debbie, Real Estate Investor

Even with sound Strengths Coaching training and experience under my belt, I knew there was something more I could be delivering to my clients to guide them to their future success.  

It was late in 2013 when I ran across an opportunity to work with instructors in Denver who both possessed Ph.D. education in psychology. It was through this mentoring that I was trained and certified as an Emotional Intelligence coach.

When my clients learn their potential Strengths, they discover that when their Strengths are intentional, fine-tuned, and polished, the output from their Strengths is unstoppable.

On the flip-side, when a potential Strength is operating in its infancy stage and it is still an unpolished Trait, the output an unpolished Trait can produce can often result in more harm than good.

This poor performance that comes from an unpolished Trait is often tied to behavior that can be measured by an Emotional Intelligence measurement tool I leverage called EQ-i 2.0. This is a tool that can only be purchased and evaluated by someone who has been trained and certified in the use of the tool.

Emotional Intelligence or EQ (Emotional Quotient) enables my coaching clients to truly discover, develop, polish and fine-tune the best versions of themselves. They know exactly and precisely who they are and who they are not. The deeply understand themselves, how and why they do what they do, and they gain strategies to generate their best performance.

My clients also gain an understanding of how they are coming across to other people. Once they know how they are being perceived, they are in a position to choose behaviors that will enhance their audience’s perception of them.

Combining Strengths Coaching with Emotional Intelligence Coaching is one of the strongest Strategic moves I’ve ever made on behalf of my clients. Not sold on this EQ idea yourself?

This is what Jack Welch had to say about Emotional Intelligence.

No doubt emotional intelligence is rarer than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.
— Jack Welch

This is what one of my “C Suite” Emotional Intelligence Coaching clients had to share about his journey towards developing healthy Emotional Intelligence.

You’ve taught me that connecting with people on an emotional level is significantly more effective and more positive than my formerly, pure left-brain approach, of proving my point with charts, graphs, and data.
— Tom, CISO

Why should you want to discover and develop your unique potential Strengths?

  • Once you take the CliftonStrengths™ Assessment, 33,000,000 more people will have to take the assessment before a match to your Top 5 potential Strengths is discovered. You really are this unique! You should discover exactly and precisely how unique you truly are and learn how to articulate what is unique about you in a confident manner.
  • My coaching clients ace interviews. They know exactly who they are and who they are not. The result of Strengths Discovery is crystal-clear Self-Awareness. Psychological research suggests that only 10% of the population possesses accurate and authentic Self-Awareness. You could join this small percentage of the population.
  • People who invest time and energy to do more than just read their Strengths report, people who actually invest in developing their Strengths, learn when to say Yes and when to say No. No more settling for what one CAN do. My clients hold out for what they SHOULD do in order to produce the best version of themselves.
  • The list goes on…

What’s the benefit of discovering and developing one’s Emotional Intelligence?

  • People who possess strong Emotional Intelligence know precisely who they are and who they are not.
  • Emotionally Intelligent people understand what’s going on in their own minds.
  • Emotionally Intelligent people understand how they come across to others.
  • Emotionally Intelligent people learn to strategically adjust the way they come across to others in order to produce more desirable outcomes.
  • Emotionally Intelligent people are equipped to build deep, meaningful, authentic, and trusting relationships.
  • Emotionally Intelligent people can become the greatest bosses their employees have ever had.
  • The list goes on…

One of my Emotional Intelligence Coaching clients said it this way.

You didn’t just change my profession. You changed my life and my marriage. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without your help.
— Duaine, "C" Suite Executive

Who Benefits From This Coaching?

The coaching I deliver to my clients isn’t just for executives. My coaching clients range from 24-years-old to 60-something years old. They’re high performing people who desire to take their personal and professional performance to the next level.

If you’d like to take your personal and professional performance to the next level, Schedule a call with me to discover how.

Jeff Snyder’s, CliftonStrengths Coaching, Emotional Intelligence Coaching, Coaching Blog, 719.686.8810

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Effective Leadership Is Easy To Spot...

Leader Leading.jpg
  • Trust from the leader’s followers is clearly evident.
  • They consistently operate with integrity that others can count on.
  • They speak and followers know they can trust what they hear because of a past connection of words and actions by the leader.
  • They possess the ability to see down the road in order to guide decision making in line with what the future might present.
  • Humility takes place of arrogance and comes across to others as healthy confidence.
  • Their positive influence is felt by people below them, across from them and above them.
  • They can briefly step into someone else’s shoes to consider the other person’s point of view.
  • They let others contribute and they let others win even when they already have the answer.
  • They are invited to share their expertise and they don’t push their expertise on people who didn’t ask to hear about their expertise.
  • Others feel this person is looking out for their best interests.
  • Credit, appreciation and acknowledgement is given where credit, appreciation and acknowledgement is due.
  • They possess enough impulse control to know when to speak and when to remain silent.
  • They have the fortitude to stand up for what they believe in.
  • They leave the presence of a person or a group of people and those who are left behind are inspired to take action.
  • Others want to be a part of this person’s team, effort or mission.
  • Others want this person to be their mentor or coach.
  • They listen in order to understand and to consider what they’ve just heard.
  • They are unwilling to let themselves fail, but take others with them into success.

 The traits mentioned above are largely a result of having healthy Emotional Intelligence.

Jeff Snyder Coaching

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What Emotional Intelligence Looks Like In Action

This image is a screen shot from my visit to LinkedIn. Dwight Drinkard is one of my LinkedIn connections. Last week he posted this picture.  I liked the words so I shared the picture with my entire LinkedIn network. As you can see, 105 people have appreciated this photo and 6 people have commented.  

I covered up one of the names because I don't want to discourage people from sharing constructive comments.  Even thought the person who commented does not agree with the Sandra Bullock quote, he shared his thoughts without being ugly.

The bottom comment is over the top.  I don't know Sandra Bullock personally.  Perhaps the person who wrote the ugly comment does.  I don't know anything about her marriage choices.  Even if I did, I am in no position to judge Ms. Bullocks choices.  Apparently the person who made the rude comment sees things a different way.  This is an Emotional Intelligence issue.

“Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.” Travis Bradberry

This is an example of poor emotional intelligence on the part of the person who wrote the last comment.  He has a right to have an opinion but it is an Emotional Intelligence skill called Impulse Control that he appears to not have under control.

So, apparently I have no wisdom because I agree with something that Sandra Bullock might have said.  Even if she didn't say what is in the picture and someone else did, I still appreciate what is written.  

I hope this example enables you to see what poor Emotional Intelligence looks like in action and how the last comment was deeply insulting to me.  The person who commented by the way is a 3rd level connection to me and he does not know me.  

The good news is that for someone who is humble, teachable, coachable and in search of positive change, Emotional Intelligence can be coached and changed for the better. I am certified and trained by Multi-Health Systems to leverage their EQi-2.0 Emotional Intelligence assessment.  It is a powerful tool that gives me an instant snapshot of where my client's Emotional Intelligence lies based on 15 skill measurements.

Jeff Snyder Coaching

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What to Do When Your IQ Alone Will No Longer Carry You


This mattered to one technology executive so maybe it will matter to you too. 


This technology leader (I’ll call him John) had taken a Gallup StrengthsFinder assessment years ago but like most people who don’t receive coaching around their StrengthsFinder results, he put the report in a drawer and it never again saw the light of day.


That was until someone asked John if he knew his unique personal Strengths.  He dug out the report and made time to read about his unique Traits and Strengths.  At this point in his life he wanted to know more.  He went to Google and searched for Strengths Coaches and found Jeff Snyder.

A Colleague Suggested

It was also suggested to John that he might want to look into emotional intelligence coaching along with gaining an understanding of what his StrengthsFinder report stated.  While he was in a searching mood, he searched Google for Certified Emotional Intelligence Coaches and again he found Jeff Snyder.

Jeff Snyder Coaching

When he arrived at JeffSnyderCoaching.com, he discovered that he’d found a one stop shop for everything that matters to his personal branding in addition to the other coaching he set out to find.  Specifically, he found Resume Coaching and LinkedIn Coaching services.  Then John explored the Leadership Coaching Services that were built for people precisely like him that include StrengthsFinder Coaching and Emotional Intelligence Coaching.

A Career Crossroads

What this means is that John had progressed to his current role pretty much based on his intelligence.  We’ll call this his IQ.  Now that he was working at the Director level, he discovered that the IQ that got him to where he was would not necessarily push him to the next level.  He really wanted to be a “C” level technology leader and he didn't know what to do to get there.

Career Progression

It was a discussion that John shared with one of his colleagues that caused John to seek out a career coach who could help him to understand his unique strengths and his emotional intelligence.  John invested in himself and he has never looked back. 

He is now a “C” level executive and he has measurable and quantifiable results connected to the coaching he invested in to go along with his easy-to-see career progression.  He achieved exactly what his colleague suggested he might achieve if he were to find the right coach.

Jeff Snyder Coaching found at www.jeffsnydercoaching.com




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Life Happens: Stop, Ask and Listen


The nature of all of my work dictates that I deal with lots of people all around the world.  People in different cultures, situations and circumstances. 

This morning, I communicated with someone in Ecuador.  This afternoon, I’ll be communicating with someone in Guatemala and someone else in Colombia.  Yesterday, my global communication led me to Chile, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.  My domestic communication led me to people in Dallas, Los Angeles, New York and Seattle yesterday.

Every person I communicated with was in a different environment, had different circumstances and faced different challenges and/or opportunities.  The experiences I have working with people around the world are fascinating and sometimes challenging.  One thing is for sure. I’m never bored!

While some communication experiences are fascinating, others are puzzling.  The older I get, the more I’m learning to stop, ask and listen before processing what I think is happening. I want to get the reality of the situation right.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve frequently applied this stop, ask and listen approach to many people who had gone silent on me for reasons I did not understand.  Here’s what I learned when I listened.

  • I went through a brutal divorce and other personal stuff. Doing well now…how have you been
  • My son in another state from my first marriage drowned trying to save his friend who fell into a fast running river.
  • My husband died from a heart attack.  Nobody is monitoring that account any longer.
  • I don’t have time to communicate.  I’m up to my eyeballs in problems.  (Unfortunately, this person created his own problems and was now operating in crisis mode…not a pretty picture)
  • My husband fell off a ladder.  I’ve been trying to juggle the pressures of a new job, regular life stuff and the added burden of helping my husband get back on his feet.
  • We lost one of our children to Leukemia. 

Wow!  This is some serious information that I would not have known if I hadn’t asked and listened.  Stopping, asking and listening allowed me to process my response more carefully. In many cases, relationships were saved.

One of the skills we measure in Emotional Intelligence Coaching is called Reality Testing.  Reality Testing means seeing things as they really are rather than seeing things the way we think they are. Possessing strong Reality Testing skills can pay dividends for anyone whose work focuses on people and relationships.

In all of the above cases, I had ideas in my mind to explain why one person or another went silent for period of time. It wasn’t until I stopped, asked and listened that I found out what was really happening. 

Try slowing down or even stopping, asking for answers and listening.  You might be surprised by what you’ll learn.

Jeff Snyder Coachin

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Self-Regard, An Emotional Intelligence Skill


Self-Regard is one of 15 Emotional Intelligence skills that can be measured with the EQi-2.0 Emotional Intelligence assessment. In order to acquire this assessment, a person has to go through training and certification in order to understand how to interpret and work with the results of the assessment. 

Self-Regard has to do with one’s confidence and/or the ability to respect oneself.

Too much Self-Regard can come across to others as arrogance. 

Not having enough self-regard is not healthy either as the person who does not have a healthy level of self-regard may come across to others as lacking confidence.

One of the ways to address one’s self-regard is by concentrating on strengths.  People who know their strengths and understand how to properly leverage their strengths can develop a well-balanced, healthy level of self-regard.

Jeff Snyder Coaching is found at www.jeffsnydercoaching.com

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What Is Measured In An Emotional Intelligence Assessment?

I was recently asked to explain what is actually measured in the EQi-2.0 Emotional Intelligence assessment I use in my coaching practice.  The image shown below demonstrates the emotional intelligence skills that are measured by the EQi-2.0 assessment.

This is not an assessment that just anybody can purchase.  In order to purchase this assessment, I had to go through certification and training to learn how to interpret the results of this assessment and to understand how to coach my clients around their unique results.

Emotional Intelligence

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How to Become a Successful CISO or CSO

Success Coaching


CISOs and CSOs need to possess a mix of appropriate education, certifications, experience and technical subject matter expertise.  The needs of each individual company will dictate what experience, credentials and technical skills a CISO / CSO candidate needs to bring to the table.

Often Overlooked

A set of skills that companies often overlook when hiring a CISO / CSO candidate include relationship building skills. These are the skills that will empower a CISO or CSO to attract talent and to retain talent.  As a strengths coach andan emotional intelligence coach, I’m privileged to see exactly and precisely how my coaching clients are wired from the inside as opposed to only seeing what a security professional chooses to show on their resume; the outside. 

How a person is wired on the inside determines how they perform on the outside.

Somewhat Rare

Finding CISO or CSO professionals who possess relationship building strength themes in their top 5 strength themes or even their top 10 strength themes is somewhat rare.  These particular strength themes are the themes that equip a person to build relationships, to grow relationships and to know how to work effectively with others.

I’m far more likely to see strategic thinking strength themes in CISO and CSO coaching clients.  While strategic thinking strengths are necessary for security professionals, CISOs and CSOs need a greater balance of strengths than just strategic thinking themes.

The Full Package

In order to influence, persuade, negotiate and to collaborate with peers and customers, CISOs and CSOs need to be equipped with a balance of relationship building, influencing, executing and strategic thinking strength themes.  These leadership professionals need to understand what they have to work with and they need to know how to leverage  what they have and how to manage the strength themes that show up as weaknesses.

The Right Mix

CISOs and CSOs who build the most effective security programs, the best security teams and who generate the best results for the businesses that employ them are those who also have well-balanced emotional intelligence.  These people know themselves well and they have an advanced understanding of how they are perceived by and how they come across to others across the business they’re there to serve.

A person’s unique mix of strength themes are like their DNA.  We all have unique DNA but we can’t change what we have.  Emotional Intelligence skills on the other hand are flexible and can be adjusted and improved upon over time.

What to Do

If you don’t know already, find out what your unique strength themes are so you know for sure what you have to work with and what you have within you to leverage.

If you’re ready to take your career to the next level, learn about your unique emotional intelligence.  Your emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) as it is sometimes called can be measured and improved through coaching if in fact it needs work. 

Jeff Snyder’s Coaching Blog found at JeffSnyderCoaching.com, 719.686.8810

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What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Does It Matter?

Emotional Intelligence


Emotional Intelligence is how we see ourselves and how we come across to others.  That's the simple Jeff Snyder paraphrased definition of Emotional Intelligence. 

While sharing a conversation with a Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) yesterday, a statement was made while the CISO was telling me a story.  This statement quickly caught my attention. 

The statement went like this:

“You’d be more effective to me if you didn’t piss off everyone in the room”

The CISO made this statement to the smartest person in the room.  The smartest person in the room in this case was a Security Architect who reported to the CISO.

The Security Architect’s response to the CISO’s statement was one of confusion and disbelief.  What the CISO was trying to tell his Architect was that it was okay to be the smartest person in the room but it wasn’t okay to always have to let everyone in the room know how smart he is. Doing so was making everyone in the room uncomfortable.

As the CISO continued telling me his story, he emphasized that after trying to explain his position to the Architect from several different angles, the Architect still didn’t get it. 

A while back, I tried to capture this type of situation in an article I wrote called The “Smartest Person in the Room Syndrome”.  As a Security Recruiter, I find myself working with the smartest people on the plant quite often.  These are the people who are frequently attracted to Cyber Security Careers.

The most successful of these people are the ones who invest the time to develop the side of their brain that hasn’t been developed by focusing solely on IQ development.

The other side of the brain in this case is the side that drives one’s Emotional Intelligence.  Emotional Intelligence often comes out in one’s behavior.  If someone is pissing off everyone in the room as the CISO stated, they very likely are not aware of how their behavior is coming across to others. 

This is why having a clear understanding of one’s unique level of Emotional Intelligence matters and why everyone should at least consider Emotional Intelligence Coaching.   This type of coaching is often an eye opening and paradigm shifting experience for those who engage in the coaching.

Jeff Snyder Coaching Blog, 719.686.8810


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Two of the Most Powerful Words When Combined Together are "Thank" and "You"

I’ve been through life-changing and life-disrupting events in recent years.  What was always important to me has become even more important to me.  Prior to entering the hospital just over a year ago for open heart surgery, I made a conscious decision to do everything in my power to be an unusual heart surgery patient for those who had to care for me.

While this was a brand new experience for me, I assumed that doctors, nurses and other care givers in the cardiac unit were probably not used to caring for people who said “Thank You” for everything that was done for them.

I did not always feel thankful as I laid there in pain after my chest had been cut open.  However, I decided long before I was lying in a hospital bed in pain to thank everyone who was caring for me. 

My thankful attitude had an amazing impact on my care givers.  With only a couple of exceptions, I’m pretty sure that every care giver who entered my room appreciated being thanked no matter how small their effort towards me might have been.

Every time I have to go back to the hospital or back to a doctor’s office, I purposely decide before I arrive to be thankful to every person who provides care for me.  Recently, I visited the hospital for another procedure.  Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong.

I had one opportunity after another to blow my top and let my emotions get out of control.  My care givers were not ready for me when I arrived at the scheduled time.  The insurance company had not given my care givers proper authority to give me the care I went to the hospital to receive.  My visit was a nightmare. 

The one thing that made all the difference was my response to the situation.  I chose to respond rather than reacting.  As a result of smiling in the face of adversity and as a result of saying “Thank You” to everyone who crossed my path, I’m pretty sure that I set myself apart from most patients my care givers had run into that day before my arrival.

I turned the admittance person into my ally.  She turned another admittance team member into my second ally for me.  They turned the scheduling person not only into my ally but into my advocate.  It took an extra 45 minutes to get to my scheduled procedure but I did get to the procedure as a result of smiling and being thankful rather than having to turn around to make a 45 minute drive home.  Because of my response choices, everyone in the office that day went to work to solve my problem for me.

When the words “Thank” and “You” are used together, they can create powerful outcomes.  I don’t think “Thank You” can be expressed too often for too many reasons. 

If you’re not in the habit of thanking those who serve you or those who work for you, give it a try. You might be amazed by the results that come your way.


Jeff Snyder’s, Jeff Snyder Coaching Blog, 719.686.8810

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Impulse Control is one of the Most Important Emotional Intelligence Skills


Impulse Control 

“Impulse control is the ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act and involves avoiding rash behaviors and decision making.”

Impulse Control impacts every other emotional intelligence skill and is frequently a skill that I work on with my behavioral change coaching clients.  This is a skill that can be improved upon and the benefits of improving this particular skill are almost endless.

A Hospital Visit

Since being trained and certified to coach around the topic of emotional intelligence, I can honestly tell you that having this knowledge, working on my own emotional intelligence and coaching others on the topic has changed my life.

Yesterday I had to leave the office early to get to an appointment at the hospital. I was headed there for a significant test.  I arrived at the radiology office early as I was asked to do.  I waited for my turn to be checked in.  When I sat down in front of the person who had the power to check me in, she told me that my test had not yet been approved by the insurance company.

Hold on.  They called me to set up the appointment because the insurance company had approved the test.  I left my office in the middle of the afternoon to get to this appointment that was 50 minutes away from my office.  Now I’m supposed to reschedule?

React or Respond?

At this moment, I had an opportunity to react to the situation and lose control of my patience or I could choose to respond.  I responded with calmness and kindness and didn't let myself react to the situation in anger even though I had a very good reason to be angry.

Having experienced the hospital setting before, I already knew that I'd get a lot further with kindness and smiles than I would be expressing the way I was really feeling.

I took a deep breath and in the most polite and calm way I knew how, I asked the admissions person if there might be a chance that she could call the cardiologist’s office to determine the root cause of this challenge.  She smiled at me with one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen in my life and agreed to help me.

She gave me the option of leaving and rescheduling.  Again, in the most calm tone and the most polite manner I could use, I asked what would guarantee that my test would be approved by the insurance company if I were to reschedule and go through the same motions a second time.  She didn’t have a good answer.

The admissions person led me to the scheduling person in the back of the office.  Now I was standing in front of the person who I sensed ran the office.  She got on the phone with my cardiologist’s office and refused on my behalf to take “no” for an answer.  I got this special treatment because I said “please” and “thank you” at least a dozen times in 30 minutes and I treated everyone I encountered in the radiology check-in office with respect.

I Got To Win Twice Yesterday!

For a second time, I returned to the waiting area and kept calm.  Approximately 10 minutes later, the admissions person with the beautiful smile sat down beside me and told me she would be taking me down the hall to get closer to the CT machine.  I was now 50 minutes beyond my scheduled appointment time but I didn’t have to reschedule.

I’m 100% human.  Therefore, I don’t always exercise perfect Impulse Control.  However, yesterday afternoon I nailed it and my reward was a completed hospital test that really needed to be done yesterday.

My bigger reward came 4 hours later when the puck dropped and my Red Hockey Team recorded a hockey win for the evening.  Yesterday was a winning day all around.


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